I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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