You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
