guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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