i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
