I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
