I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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