At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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