i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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