i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
