I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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