fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
