I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
