please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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