I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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