Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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