There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
