Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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