Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
