Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
