Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
