last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
