i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
