Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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