she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He felt like a one man threesome
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
