My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
