dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Buhtt sex?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
