i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Randomize
