she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
