How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
