I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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