There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
