No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
