Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He passed out mid-signature
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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