& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
