It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
