How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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