How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
