Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
