No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
