At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
