therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
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