If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
