Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
