i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
