What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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