i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
