I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
