I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
