I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
