You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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