We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
